Commencement (Again)

Two years ago, I wrote a ‘Commencement’ note that sought to distil three decades of work experience into ten thoughts young graduates might find helpful. The special occasion was a graduation ceremony in Durham (UK). This week, another proud event took place in Cambridge (UK).

I flirted with upgrading the note before concluding that it would ultimately equate to cosmetic work. So here is the original list – with two additions:

1. Don’t wait for passion to come to you: Passion is a pure fabrication of the mind. Invent it!

2. Be a ‘player,’ not a ‘victim’: roll with the challenges thrown your way (never forgetting to comply with all rules and regulations.) Leave the moaning to others.

3. Learn hard: The next few years will be the most formative of your professional life. Don’t listen to those who promote a work-life balance before you have a family (if you choose to have one). It is a trap set by the uncommitted. Give it all! And…

4. ‘Give’ more than you ‘take:’ Give, give, and give without counting – in friendship and at work. It is one of the most fulfilling acts, one that is underappreciated by many.

5. Be patient: I see more and more young people running sprints without taking a breath. They do not understand that going too fast will slow them down. The real enemy is procrastination.

6. Seek advice: People around you are full of relevant experience and wisdom. Ask them for guidance, learn from them, and make them stakeholders by bringing them into your world. You will be amazed by the level of support you receive.

7. Be competitive: Competing is not an option. It is an obligation because, as a fact of life, people will always be competing with you. See them, watch them, and do not underestimate them. Beware of performative activists. Even to this day, I struggle to push them away.

8. Build your own brand: Stay in close touch with economic, political, cultural, and technological trends. Use that proximity to build and ‘market’ something different by leveraging your strengths, e.g., intellect, expertise, and creativity. This is how you can maximize your contribution to society. 

9. Be kind and generous: Refrain from expressing negative views about others. It will poison your mind. Remember that each one of us is someone else’s [idiot], as in the ‘Dîner des cons’ (1998); And,

10. Take good care of your health: a balanced diet, music, books, travel, adequate sleep, a strong community, and regular exercise will help you maintain a healthy perspective on important matters.

Recently, I read ‘The Courage to be Disliked’ (2013), a Japanese book that simulates a dialogue between a youth and a philosopher introducing Alfred Adler’s psychology. It felt as if someone had captured many life principles I have always attempted to follow. Two additions to the above emerged from it:

11. Keep relationships horizontal: Build all relationships on mutual autonomy; never lose yourself in them.

12. Create your own game: Do not let others dictate your definition of success. Choose courage over the enslavement of approvals; the only real competition is yourself. Win your own game.

Finally, in her commencement speech earlier this week, King’s College Provost, Dr. Gillian Tett, said: ‘Rituals [such as commencement] not only provide us with a way to celebrate the past, but also mark a punctuation point in our lives, and give us a springboard for the future.’  It hit the perfect note.

Congratulations to all graduates around the world!